A mans perfect woman.

A comedian once said:
“I used to think my girlfriend was so much smarter than me. Then I realized something, women aren’t that much smarter than men. Your girlfriend, wife, kids mother? She can’t be that smart, she picked you!”
-Adam Fererra, Funny as Hell.

Now Adam has a point, women aren’t that much smarter than men and they did after all pick those men to be with. But this got me thinking, I have picked and picked and picked. So why am I alone? Maybe I should reevaluate myself. After all the guys I have dated and been with maybe it’s not men who are the problem. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes they are, but maybe in my situation, it’s me. It has to be right? Maybe I’m too smelly, hyper, fat, stupid, angry, weird, or stubborn. Maybe my teeth are too yellow, maybe I talk to much. Whichever it may be I need to change. So I am going to do a little experiment. With the exception of my birthday, the trip to Cancun, and with friends (unless the guy is around my friends), I am going to be the perfect girl. That means no drama, no bull shit, no crazy stories. Nothing that will seem unattractive to men. I will not curse, drink, slouch, act crazy or hyper when I am around a man I find interesting. I will not eat, bitch, gossip or trash talk, I will not send dirty pictures or texts and will be the perfect little house wife while they are around me.

Since currently I am in a relationship I think this is a very opportune time to try this out, especially considering the fact that he has been pushing me away because he is being shipped to Iraq for one year. But if I am perfect than maybe he will stop pushing and want to be with me when he leaves. However if he does decide to call our relationship to an end at the beginning of January when he leaves I will continue this experiment on many more men. I will become a mans PERFECT woman. I will never been seen without clean, shiny, brushed hair. I will never be caught in dirty, wrinkled, smelly clothes. I will always have clean face with makeup and gloss, along with clean, fresh breath and teeth. My legs, under arms, and other areas will always be smelling nice and shaven. Also, I will not interrupt sentences, whine, moan or complain. I will be the PERFECT woman. If this keeps my current man with me I will have succeeded, and if not, I will continue until I reach results of the positive or the negative.